rest

Patience: The Way to Do Ministry

Christian ministry is hard. There are struggles, temptations, and challenges that are unique to pastors, missionaries, and other Christian workers. And we must respond to these situations in a godly way or else they will be our ruin.

One of the unique temptations we face, especially in these days when technology is ubiquitous, is impatience. We expect too much of ourselves. We want to be holy and obedient and loving and kind and skilled and pure…right now. We expect too much of others as well. The church, for example, has to be perfect. Church members expect their pastors to meet their every need and to know how to do everything. We pastors expect our congregations to respond enthusiastically to every sermon and every initiative. We even expect God to turn on a dime, to answer our prayers right away, to give us what we need when we want it.

The Bible, on the other hand, consistently promotes patience.

  • Psalm 40:1 – “I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.”
  • Psalm 130:5-6 – “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.”
  • James 5:7-8 – “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish [strengthen, NASB] your hearts, [stay steady and strong, MSG] for the coming of the Lord is at hand.”

Patience is the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain without complaint, loss of temper, and irritation. It is the willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. It is quiet, steady perseverance.

Patience is necessary for us in ministry because gospel ministry is meant to be slow and plodding. Like Eugene Peterson says, ministry is “a long obedience in the same direction.”

There have been two key times in my ministry life when I failed to “suppress restlessness” and as a result made some big mistakes. One was when I was a pastor in SC in the 1990s. I had been at this church for about seven years but was impatient for the church to become more open to change. Rather than hang in there, preach the Word, love people, build leaders, and be patient, I started looking around for greener grass. I soon left that church and wound up with bigger problems in a different church.

Unfortunately, even there in that new church I was in too big a hurry. Within the first six months I made significant changes to the worship service and pushed the elders to adopt a new vision statement. That congregation was neither ready for nor desirous of such massive change. In retrospect, I should have taken at least a year to even explore such changes.

Twenty years later, I’m now of a different mind. I believe that had I been more patient, I would have saved myself, my family, and those congregations a lot of pain. And who knows? The kingdom of God may have advanced a bit more quickly.

Here are some practical ways you can practice patience:

  1. Slow down.

Literally, slow down your pace. Drive more slowly. Allow more time to get places. Don’t plan things back to back. Put cushion into your schedule. Say no. Keep a “not to do” list. Ask people to help you. When it comes to your church or ministry, stretch out your vision. Take the long view. Instead of a one- or two- or five-year vision, talk with your leaders about a ten-year vision. Instead of thinking about the destination, look out the window and enjoy the ride. You will by-pass many good people and opportunities if you’re only looking at the goal posts.

  1. Choose your battles with care.

Some battles are worth fighting; others are not. Think about Paul in Philippians 1. While Paul was imprisoned in Rome some Christian workers were preaching Christ out of envy, rivalry, and selfish ambition. But Paul chose to rejoice because “in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed.”

I have found the following battles are worth fighting:

  • Sin in the camp, especially among leadership
  • Staff insubordination
  • Bad hires
  • False teaching
  • Divisive church members
  • Efforts to take the church off mission

But many other battles are best left alone or left to God. Some battles you will not win and probably should not try to fight. If you don’t care for something your church is doing (such as a program), you can let it die a slow death on its own rather than call in the artillery.

Consultant and author André Bustanoby recommends answering these seven questions before engaging in battle:

  • Does the church have a history of driving pastors away?
  • Have your efforts to achieve peace in the past repeatedly failed?
  • Are your leaders prepared to pay the price of victory?
  • Is there a critical mass of support in the congregation?
  • Is the opposition willing to negotiate, or do they demand unconditional surrender?
  • How will fighting the battle affect your family?
  • Why fight? Is it to benefit your church and community or satisfy your personal need to win?
  1. Ignore the greener grass

It isn’t.

  1. Dial back your expectations.

Ambition is one thing; hubris is quite another. Excellence is wonderful to shoot for, but it often masks a sense of self-importance. It’s great to want to win the world to Christ. But maybe you should focus on your neighborhood. Aiming for the bleachers is a wonderful goal, but is it really necessary? What is “excellence” costing you—your health? Your marriage? Your friendships? Your joy? Your Sabbath? Your rest?

Remember the adage “Less is more.” Don’t expect perfection or completion this side of heaven. My wife is good about reminding me to shoot for a 7 or 8 instead of a 10. The prophet Jeremiah told his secretary Baruch, “Do you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not” (Jeremiah 45:5).

What explains the massive departure of clergy from their posts? Could it be that they entered the ministry expecting to be the next Tim Keller or Matt Chandler or fill-in-the-blank, but found out very quickly that it was a pipe dream? The internet has helped create a celebrity culture among Christian leaders that is killing the souls of many good men and women who truly love the Lord and want to be a blessing to God’s people but are not extraordinarily gifted.

What the church needs today are ordinary men and women patiently, faithfully keeping in step with the Spirit and fulfilling their callings, however great or small they be. We need more people who are “content to fill a little space, if God be glorified” (Anna Waring).

  1. Dial back your expectations of other people too.

Grant them the same mercy you give yourself. Forgive them when they disappoint you. Remember that they, like you, are sinners and need the grace of God. If God “knows your frame and remembers that you are dust” (Psalm 103:14), you should treat other people the same way.

The church is made up of people just like you. The church will not be purified and holy till we get home. Until then we will let each other down, sin against each other, and often, like Paul and Barnabas, decide to go our separate ways. Give the church grace. Be patient with her. If you must complain, do so kindly, and complain directly to the people who need to hear from you. Don’t spread bad reports about God’s chosen ones.

  1. Care for yourself.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. Have a day of rest. Honor the Sabbath. Waste some time. The sky is not falling. Your church or ministry will not fail if you take a personal day now and then. Have some activities and hobbies that renew your soul and bring you joy. Exercise. Enjoy nature. Go out with friends. Eat good food. Get counseling. Read books and listen to music. Do things just for the fun of it, and don’t feel ashamed.

As it says in James 5:11, “the Lord is compassionate and merciful.” Be compassionate and merciful with yourself.

Sometimes, Less Is More

 

peaceful-scene-jordan-hillI attended a heated meeting of homeowners in my community a few nights ago. It seems that our community golf course is closing and a developer wants to build 304 new homes on it. There are all sorts of problems with this, as was made clear by a couple dozen angry homeowners who spoke at the microphone. I agreed with everything they said. But if I’d had the gumption to approach the mic and speak my mind, this is what I would have said to support my community:

Sometimes, less is more.

Less homebuilding means more green space. More undamaged beauty. More available land for a park and hiking trails. More wildlife. More safety. Better education for kids whose schools are already at capacity. All good things. Really good things.

After the meeting I started thinking that less is sometimes more for the Church, too.

Many church leaders think that more is better. To borrow from Daft Punk, they define success as “bigger, better, faster, stronger.” I know what I’m talking about because I used to think that way. I was a pastor for 33 years before retiring and taking a part-time job in a seminary. For many of those 33 years my goal was to grow my church numerically. Outgrow our facility and build a new sanctuary. Add more staff. Increase the budget. Reach more unchurched people. Those aren’t bad things, of course, but in my case they were means to an end: my validation as a pastor.

I know there are better men than me out there whose hearts aren’t as self-centered and insecure as mine. When they think of growing the church, they really do want to glorify God and help more people find Jesus. But I fear that a lot of pastors are like me, looking for self-validation. A growing church means we’re doing a good job, our sermons are hitting the mark, and God is favoring our ministry. Not necessarily. Churches grow for a lot of reasons, not all of them godly.

It’s a risky move, but what would it look like for a pastor to adopt the philosophy that less is sometimes more? I think it would mean the following:

  • He would spend more relaxed time with people. Getting to know them. Enjoying them. Listening deeply to their challenges, concerns, and questions. Getting to know his neighbors. Inviting people into his home and enjoying food and conversation.
  • He would simply be in less of a hurry. He would slow his step and linger with people instead of checking his watch and looking over their shoulders at others who want his time. He would be available and accessible.
  • He would operate out of a state of rest. He would take a real day off each week. He would not live in a continual state of panic about the next big thing, the next sermon, the next elders meeting, or the budget deficit.
  • He would take time to introduce change. He would give due honor to the practices and rhythms that were established before he showed up on the scene. He would listen to others’ opinions and earn trust and respect before implementing his own ideas.
  • He would be grateful that anyone at all wants to be in his church. He would repent of his restless appetite for more new people to walk through the doors on Sunday morning, as though the people already in the pews don’t matter as much.
  • He would support church planting and, if possible, plant a new church. This is because small, new churches make disciples better than big churches. In small churches people know each other, remember each other’s names, and get involved. In big churches people are more likely to be disconnected, anonymous, lonely, and invisible.
  • He would relish the privilege of knowing–really knowing–his sheep, and shepherding them through all the passages of life from the cradle to the grave.
  • He would not feel guilty or inferior or worthless when, at conferences and pastors’ meetings and on YouTube, pastors of big churches get all the attention and applause. Instead, because he is God’s beloved son he would (as Eric Liddell said about running) feel God’s pleasure just being who he is.
  • He would be a man of prayer. Not just talk about prayer and preach about prayer, but really pray.
  • And he would remember that his first and most important “congregation” is living inside the walls of his home.

The Church has taken too many sips of the Kool-Aid of the American Dream. America rewards the spectacular and despises the ordinary. Jesus, on the other hand, rewarded the cup of cold water offered to a child, the mustard seed of faith, the widow’s two copper coins, the five loaves and two fish. He hung out with marginalized people. Out of all his followers Jesus invested the bulk of his time in just twelve men. Of those twelve, three were his special focus. And just one of them was said to be the disciple whom Jesus loved.

Jesus lived by the philosophy that sometimes–maybe most of the time–less is more.

Here’s what I’ve learned: People need pastors. Curators of the soul who have the time, vulnerability, training, and experience to walk with them through life and show them the way. Pastors who aren’t in a hurry and aren’t preoccupied with bodies, bucks, and buildings.

What do you think: Can we reassess the metrics normally used to gauge success in the Church? Can we ministers of the gospel slow down, shepherd our people, and celebrate the “more” that we can have when we try to do less?

Sixteen Restorative Practices for Pastors

come-unto-me-and-i-will-give-you-restHere are sixteen practices that will restore your energy if done consistently. Even if you can start with a few of them, you will be taking better care of yourself. And if you want to be any good for those you lead, you need to be good to yourself. I’ve adapted some of these from J. R. Briggs’ book, entitled simply Fail. It’s a great read.

  1. Secure a mentor, coach or spiritual director. Someone with experience who listens well, cares about you, and can shoot straight with you.
  2. Attend a small group you do not lead.
  3. Visit with a trusted Christian counselor.
  4. Connect regularly with other pastors/Christian leaders who are safe.
  5. Develop friendships with people who see you as a person first and as a pastor/chaplain/missionary second.
  6. Develop a prayer team with whom you can vent and be truly honest.
  7. Stop reading how-to ministry books. Invest your time reading theology, church history, and biographies of faithful Christians. Be sure to read Eugene Peterson and Henri Nouwen.
  8. Journal—and be raw, blunt, and honest.
  9. Talk with your church leaders about what success and failure look like. Make sure you see success the same way.
  10. Avoid conferences that promote Christian celebrities and events that highlight ministry success but will only bring you under bondage and make you envious and anxious.
  11. Be the first to repent and admit weakness.
  12. Practice Sabbath. Disconnect and be refreshed. Learn to work from rest.
  13. Participate in life-giving activities. “It is more important for leaders to focus on energy management than time management.” Do things that replenish your energy.
  14. Get out of your ZIP Code on a regular basis.
  15. Exercise and eat well. “Clergy today have significantly worse health than the average American.”
  16. Listen to your spouse. He or she is the best source of wise counsel you have.

How to Sabbath as a pastor

unnamedI recently retired from pastoral ministry and took on a new challenge as Dean of Students at a theological seminary. Now relieved of the responsibilities of church work, I’ve been reflecting on my thirty-two year pastoral career. One of the things I’ve been stunned to realize is just how much those years were filled with anxiety and frantic ambition instead of “the peace that passes understanding” that we Christians talk about.

Looking back, I wish I had “Sabbathed” better.

I’m using the word “Sabbath” here not in its narrow sense to refer to the Lord’s Day (Sunday), but in its broader connection to the Hebrew word meaning to stop, take a break, and rest. The fact that under the New Covenant we observe the Sabbath on the first day of the week means that all of life, including work and ministry, should flow out of rest. Rest from worry, nervous toil, guilt, shame, and fearful labor has been achieved for us by Jesus through his death, resurrection, and ascension. As God has rested from his labor, so should we (Hebrews 4:10). So being a pastor and living out of a continual sense of rest and peace should not be mutually exclusive concepts.

I’m not saying life as a pastor is easy. Ministry is hard work. It means shepherding stubborn sheep, loving unlovely people, laboring over the scriptures, and praying constantly. Every faithful pastor knows what Paul is talking about in 2 Corinthians 11 when he admits to “toil and hardship, …many a sleepless night,” and “the daily pressure [of] anxiety for all the churches” (vv. 27-28).

But something’s wrong when pastoral activity is driven (and I use that word driven deliberately) by fear of not meeting budget, worry about membership numbers, the expectations of powerful leaders, or anxiety about what folks thought of your last sermon, rather than by love for people and trust in the Holy Spirit. And I mention these examples because I caved to such pressures far too often. To “Sabbath” as a pastor means to shepherd and love and study and preach and counsel and pray as one who knows Jesus has won the battle and is building his church without a lot of help from us.

So back to the question at hand. How might I have Sabbathed better as a pastor? How can you minister out of rest instead of enslavement to your own and others’ expectations?

Here are ten practices that come to mind:

  1. Have a day off every week. Don’t skip it, open your laptop, answer the phone, or squeeze in a quick visit to the hospital. Surely someone in your church or on your staff can cover for you on your day off. If “the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27), your day off is for you, not your congregation.
  2. Delegate. You’ve heard of a “to do” list”? Create a “not to do” list. Ask others to take those tasks off your plate.
  3. Read books for sheer pleasure. Keep a non-ministry-related book going at all times.
  4. Have a hobby. What is that “thing” you always wanted to do when you got older? For me, it’s learning to scuba dive–and I haven’t done it yet! What’s on your bucket list? Don’t keep putting it off.
  5. Don’t take yourself too seriously. You’re not as good as you think you are. And, praise God, you are better than you think you are. But you’re not indispensable.
  6. Say no at least once a day. Meeting every need, responding to every request, replying to every email, and accommodating every suggestion will exasperate and eventually exhaust you. You are not your church’s Savior–Jesus is. You don’t have all the answers–Jesus does. Help your church members turn to Jesus instead of you. You’ll be doing both them and yourself a big favor.
  7. Expect your elders and deacons (or whatever you call them in your church) to do what elders and deacons have been called by God to do. Don’t relieve them from ministry; empower and equip them for ministry.
  8. Take a sabbatical–an extended time of rest, reflection, and fun–at least every seven years. If your church does not have a sabbatical policy, talk to your fellow leaders about the need for one. And do not apologize or feel guilty. Taking a break of at least eight weeks every seven years will make you a better pastor and your church a better church.
  9. Minister out of who you are. Has God wired you to be a prophet, a priest, or a king? Few pastors can be more than one of those types. Determine which one you are, and be that. Be OK with that. God has gifted you and called you for such a time and place as this. Be that prophet, priest, or king with all your heart and soul.
  10. Preach the gospel to yourself every day–more often if possible. The gospel is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes (Romans 1:16).